I DID IT :D

So Mat replied because he's awesome and he said this:

"If I remember correctly Mooms body is made from NURBS and so will not interact with ncloth. You will need to create a polygon object as a proxy for each part of the torso, they just need to be approximations of the shapes and it would benefit to make each a tiny bit bigger to ensure that the cloth doesn't penetrate the actual torso.

Each proxy part will need to be parent constrained to it's respective torso part so that it moves with it. Then the proxy parts can then be identified as collision objects so that the garment will interact with them and then their visibility can be turned off."

I wasn't quite sure what he meant the first time i read it then i realised basically i needed to make extra shapes around moom for the dress to interact with! 

Unfortunately i can't quite work out how to do the parent constraint part on moom but i have some notes so ill have to give that a go separately.

ANYWAY, moom no longer looses his dress!! woohooo!